I Didn’t Know I Could Be Proud of Myself

Who would have thought? Me? Feeling good about the things that I am doing and the life I am living? Well girl, here we are. To give a little life update, this week I got a job that I really really wanted and I am super excited about it. Last month, I applied to eight scholarships and I started this blog. Now I haven’t received any of those scholarships yet and this blog has a community of a handful of people right now, but I am so extremely grateful for it all. 

Because of all of these things (and a couple others that I have mentioned in previous posts) I am feeling proud of myself. In all of my twenty eight years of living there have only been a couple times that I have been proud of myself. One time was when I graduated high school with my IB diploma and the other was last year after a therapy session where my therapist and I talked about the growth that I experienced since I began working with her. So this is the third time. I am feeling more proud of myself this time though because I honestly did not think that I was going to get here. The last few months have been really dark and the light felt nonexistent. But here I am surrounded by so many amazing people that loved on me and supported me and got me to this place of being proud of myself. 

Not going to lie, when others tell me that they are proud of me it is one of the best compliments that I can receive. It makes me feel so full because it’s like they are recognizing that it took effort and energy for me to land where I did. For other people to be able to see that in me means so much and I am so grateful when they do. But until recently that has been what has sustained me until I could process that being proud of myself could have the same meaning and impact on me as when others feel that way. No one had to tell me to be proud of myself this time. For me to recognize my own efforts and see my own growth means a lot to me now. It helps me to see the world differently and have more joy as I am occupying space in the world.

It definitely doesn’t mean things are perfect. I still put my dry clothes in the washing machine to be rewashed this week because I didn’t realize that they were not the ones that needed to go in the washing machine. But being proud of myself allows me to handle myself with more grace and know that even though incidents happen, I can not be so hard on myself when those things happen and regardless everything is going to be okay.

Hoping that all of us can be more proud of ourselves wherever we are in our journeys!

Wishing you well,

Danyelle

2:05pm 2.18.24